University is bloody stressful.
And who better to demonstrate that rage than Gordon F**king Ramsay – King of Fury.
1. When you arrive at uni and think you might never make friends.
2. When you meet that one person who won’t STFU about their gap year.
3. Or that person who complains about being broke even through it’s quite clear from their Louis Vuitton handbag that their parents are loaded.
4. Or that person who is quite clearly lying about everything. “So you could have played for Man City, eh? And Alan Sugar is your god father?”
5. Sitting in a 9am lecture after a heavy night out.
6. You make it 20 minutes into the lecture before you have to leg it to the bathroom.
7. When there’s five minutes of the lecture left and a mature student asks a ridiculous question that’s going to take 20 years to answer.
8. Then the lecture lasts longer than expected and you end up being late for some very important plans.
9. When you’re trying to leave a club early but you don’t want your mates to see you go because you know they’ll try and stop you.
10. When your mates start talking about all the embarrassing stuff you did when you were drunk.
11. When you put your phone down for two seconds and return to 5,897,078,346 messages in your housemates Whatsapp group.
12. When you go looking for student houses for next year.
13. When you’re at a party and someone starts talking about uni work.
14. When someone steals the food you’ve been saving all week.
15. And you find out who it was.Â
16. When you can’t afford heating.
17. When your friend says they’ve done no revision but you know they’re lying.
18. When you get stopped by someone running for student elections and you don’t have time to pretend to care.
19. When people won’t shut up in the library and you’re trying to get stuff done.
20. When there’s a queue for the kitchen and you’re bloody starving.
21. Dealing with the shitty WiFi at your uni.
22. When no one will do the dishes or take the bins out and you’re left to do it AGAIN.
23. When you get assigned group work with the biggest idiot in class.
24. When the uptight housemate passive aggressively suggests a cleaning rota.
25. When your parents ask you how your course is going.
26. When it gets to that time of the year where your grades are shit, you look like shit, you feel like shit and you question the whole point of everything.
27. When someone asks how your exams went.
28. After being depressed about your crappy grades, you get a wave of motivation and decide to actually do some work this time.
29. Dealing with the token smart-ass on your course.
30. When you’re trying to get some revision done and people keep bursting into your room for a chat.
31. When your housemates come home drunk and you’re just not up for dealing with their annoying shit.
32. When you ask them to be quiet because you’re trying to get some sleep.
33. So you get nasty.
34. When your diet has hit rock bottom.
35. When you have no money for food so you cook what’s left in your fridge and just hope for the best.
36. And it tastes so bad but there’s nothing else to eat.
37. When your bank account is a lot emptier than you thought.
38. When you get bad feedback on an assignment you actually did loads of work on.
39. When your dissertation is due and your supervisor won’t reply to your emails.
40. When you have so many deadlines that you finally reach breaking point.
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What To Take To Uni – The Ultimate Checklist
